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Posts Tagged ‘Andrew Lansley’

‘Olympic style dancing on NHS beds must stop’ insist top doctors

Following the success of the Olympic opening ceremony, top NHS doctors are now asking patients, especially those with multiple fractures, to refrain from energetic dancing on their beds at all hours of the day and night.

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Posted: Aug 30th, 2012
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Lego launches new Coalition Cabinet minifigures range

The new Lego characters include ‘Culture Secretary Dude’, sporting a large Sky satellite dish on his head feeding directly into an earpiece.

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2012
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McDonald’s to sponsor NHS says Andrew Lansley

‘A Big Mac injection might be all some sick people need to get them on their feet.’

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2012
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David Cameron appoints new head of strategy, Englebert Humperdinck

first job is a Strategy for Europe‘My first task is help sex up Mr Cameron’s image,’ explained the septuagenarian pop sensation. ‘To appeal to that all-important female demographic, David is growing a nice pair of mutton chop side burns.’

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2012
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Sex workers ‘getting brainier’, report finds

Sex workers are getting brainier, a survey has found. The rise in prostitute intellect is attributed to the increase in students – particularly trainee doctors – turning to the game to pay for their university tuition fees.

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Posted: Mar 1st, 2012
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