Somalia laments another year of Wimbledon frustration
‘It’s difficult when the only two tennis courts in Somalia are given over to grazing cattle.’ [read...]
‘It’s difficult when the only two tennis courts in Somalia are given over to grazing cattle.’ [read...]
Inspired by the World Cup in Brazil, officials at Wimbledon have announced that they will now be able to keep tennis fans heading to SW19 this week a ‘safe distance’ from entertainer and Centre Court regular Sir Cliff Richard, [read...]
Bored tennis star Andy Murray has announced his intention to receive his next 2017 Sports ‘Personality’ of the Year award at a landfill site or possibly a toxic waste reprocessing facility, in the vain hope that BBC viewers will eventually stop choosing him. [read...]
‘Players and fans alike will delight in the addition of the South African horns to the spectator stands, playing such rousing anthems as The Great Escape, Self-Preservation Society and Haydn’s Trumpet Concerto in E flat major.’ [read...]
A desperate and exhausted looking Andy Murray has seized the opportunity to strike from all Tennis & Fatherly duties; protesting a night-shift of ‘shitty nappies, chafed nipples and no squash breaks’. Armed with his Doctorate from the University of Stirling, [read...]