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Posts Tagged ‘Angelina Jolie’

Hollywood to make Chinese Heywood murder movie ‘as soon as someone figures out what the hell went on’

most of the action takes place in BournemouthBrad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Danny Davito and Ewan McGregor are all slated for major roles in a Hollywood blockbuster retelling the story of Neil Heywood’s murder in China, with filming due to start in Pinewood and Chongqing as soon as someone can come up with a suitably implausible script.

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2014
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Movie legend fed up with everyone kissing his ass

‘If one more little punk describes me as ‘an amazing presence’ or ‘a celluloid icon’ I’ll kick their balls off.’

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Posted: Jun 8th, 2010
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Middle-aged bachelor ‘in with a shot’ after Kate Winslet split

Near, far, wherever you are Oi, believe that the heart does gou urrnnnA 47 year-old Dudley singleton has received a ‘shot in the arm’ to his dreams of finding love, after it was announced that glamorous actress Kate Winslet is to split from her husband, director Sam Mendes.

Double glazing salesman Nigel Trudd claims that, while he has every sympathy for Ms. Winslet’s family, news of the split couldn’t have come at a better time. ‘I was beginning to lose hope about ever marrying a Hollywood starlet to be honest…’

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2010
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Madonna pregnant; ‘other kid’ sent back

Madonna‘The African kid filled a void in me for a while, but we all move on,’ said the singer.

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Posted: Oct 19th, 2006
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