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Posts Tagged ‘Ant and Dec’

New Archbishop to be chosen via TV variety show, Bishops Got Talent

will be asked to belch 'Archbishop of Canterbury' without pausing in the finale‘It’s high time people got to choose their Archbishop according to who can perform the best song and dance routine,’ said executive producer Simon Cowell. ‘I’m no theologian but I’m pretty sure it’s what Jesus would have wanted.’

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2012
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Abu Qatada to improve public image with ‘I’m A Celebrity’ appearance

looking forward to persuading kangaroo's testicles to follow different ideological route‘Abu is looking forward to eating testicles in the jungle, as long as they’re halal.’

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Posted: Feb 9th, 2012
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Ant & Dec to receive first joint knighthood in budget New Years honours list

In a cost cutting measure by Buckingham Palace, entertainers Ant & Dec have been awarded the first joint honour for services to broadcasting.

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Posted: Jan 12th, 2010
More from News In Brief

Crying girl from Britain’s Got Talent to be new Home Secretary

minimal political experience, but worth giving her a chanceHollie Steel who won the nation’s heart singing Edelweiss on Britain’s Got Talent is to be appointed as the new Home Secretary in a desperate bid to stop everybody attacking the government. The plucky ten year old who broke down in tears after losing her way half way through the Sound of Music classic is believed to have minimal political experience, but in the current climate, the Prime Minister has judged that this may be to his government’s advantage.

David Cameron at first seemed unsure how to react to the surprise appointment, eventually praising it by ad-libbing that ‘this little girl has got nerves of steel, and, erm, her name is Hollie Steel.’ Another MP said that they hoped the appointment of a ten year old might go some way to ending late night sittings in the House of Commons as the new Home Secretary was normally in bed by eight.

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2009
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