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Posts Tagged ‘Apocalypse’

Experts agree boy’s failure to ask teenage girl out probably is the end of the world

no point even texting anymoreScientists and religious leaders were united last night in agreeing that it was almost certain that a global apocalypse was imminent following the failure of Jimmy Welch to ask 13-year-old Emma Thorpe to the school disco.

‘We were alerted to the disturbing news after Emma’s mother overheard her daughter in her bedroom crying that this was it, that it was all over and that she was just going to die,’ explained Robert James, an environmental science professor at University College London, ‘and considering the data available – and that Jimmy is now going to the disco with that skank Sarah Miller – we think she may have a point.’

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Posted: Nov 28th, 2009
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Apocalypse hitch as four horses quarantined by UK Border Agency

The End of Days has been put on hold after the UK Border Agency quarantined the horses used by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse on their arrival in Britain.

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Posted: Nov 27th, 2009
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