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Posts Tagged ‘Apple’

State of emergency declared after the e-Bono virus hits Britain

An urgent public health warning has today been issued after a dangerous virus that was supposed to be someone else’s problem arrived on Great Britain’s shores last night, having entered the country via a consignment of infected Apple devices. The virus is said to have already reached epidemic status.

The BBC have reacted by broadcasting public service messages giving information on how to delete the ‘e-Bono virus’ from infected phones and iPods, though nothing can be done about alleviating the early-onset symptoms, which include ear infections, drowsiness, and ‘ranting about Bono’s wrap-around specs’.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



New iPhone ‘perfect for leaking your nude selfies’

Apple has claimed that the all-new iPhone 6 will take ‘the best and most easily leaked nudie photos yet’, during yesterday’s glitzy launch in California.

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
More from News In Brief



iPhone user has ‘out-of-phone experience’ in-between operating systems

upgrade includes new app which occasionally switches the bloody phone off‘Normally I just stare at a wall from two-inches away with a blank expression in-between operating systems, but this time something different happened’

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Here is the forecast for the iCloud

Wonder whether that iCloud is going to leak tomorrow and ruin that special wedding?
.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
More from Celebrity



Britain’s oldest man still waiting for BT Infinity

if only he could remember his password...‘I initially thought that Infinity was a reference to bandwidth, but I now realise it’s an indication of the average waiting time.’

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2014
More from From The Archives