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Posts Tagged ‘Apple’

Gun lobby calls for iPod ban to improve public safety

The American gun lobby is demanding a ban on iPods after a three-year-old boy mistook a gun for one – and shot both his parents.

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Posted: Feb 2nd, 2015
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Tim Cook: Proud to be gay, not proud of iTunes

'discrimination against Windows is wrong!'Apple’s CEO has given his support to alternate sexualities but refused to endorse any music player that refuses to sync with other devices. A spokesman for the global corporation admitted: ‘We need to be tolerant of all MP3 players regardless of brand. As a market leader we need to be more accepting of others – even if Windows Media Player is a crime against nature’.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2014
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Apple solves iPhone bend problem with launch of the ‘iArse’

Following the surprising news that putting your iPhone in your back pocket and sitting on it for a few hours can cause damage, Apple today launched what it believes will be the perfect solution; a prosthetic arse which keeps the phone straight and rigid under even the most challenging of chair-related conditions.

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2014
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iPhone5s buyers directed straight to queue for iPhone6

Queuing for Jobs‘The new iPhone 5S isn’t just the greatest smartphone of all time. It’s also your ticket to get first in line for the new iPhone 6,’ said store manager Damian Walsh

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2014
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Cameron to base next election around iTunes

‘Ten years ago, the only way to obtain a legitimate copy of a song you had to buy the whole CD. Now, you just download the songs you want and ignore the rest. We’re going to do this with policy too. Why elect a manifesto that has bugger all to do with you?’

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Posted: Sep 22nd, 2014
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