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Posts Tagged ‘Archbishop of Canterbury’

Oil worker ‘gobsmacked’ at news he was to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury

Oil industry worker Justin Welby (56) says he was ‘gobsmacked’ when he heard he was to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury.

‘I was having a few morning pints with the lads before being flown back for another six months on the oil rigs,’ he said, ‘when the landlord said he’d heard on the telly that I was to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury. I was bloody gobsmacked.’

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Posted: Nov 9th, 2012
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Archbishop of Canterbury launches scathing attack on 1987 Ferguson video recorder

'One really is drawn towards the greater social moralism of Toshiba'Dr Williams accused the device, first rented from Rumbelows in 1987, of being ‘increasingly irrelevant’ in the corner of his lounge.

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2012
More from Faith


Fears that Prayer Super Collider may usher in Apocalypse

The prayers are to be fired in opposite directions at enormous speeds through the 12 kilometre Prayer Super Collider ring buried deep below Salt Lake City, Utah, in the most ambitious theological experiment since the Pope and the Archbishop of Canterbury met head-on in the Large Hadron Collider.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2012
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New Archbishop to be chosen via TV variety show, Bishops Got Talent

will be asked to belch 'Archbishop of Canterbury' without pausing in the finale‘It’s high time people got to choose their Archbishop according to who can perform the best song and dance routine,’ said executive producer Simon Cowell. ‘I’m no theologian but I’m pretty sure it’s what Jesus would have wanted.’

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2012
More from Faith


Cure for Christianity ’round the corner’ say researchers

Christianity may soon be a thing of the past say researchers at Oxford University. ‘We may have found a cure for the condition,’ said Professor James Cross of Exeter College. ‘It could soon be as rare as polio.’

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2012
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