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Posts Tagged ‘Archbishop of Canterbury’

Royal Wedding to feature 3D holographic Diana

the People's ProjectionThe Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton will include a 3D computer generated Lady Di who will appear at Westminster Abbey to give her blessing to the happy couple. The full details were disclosed by St James’ Palace: ‘We are pleased to announce that the marriage ceremony will feature a full colour moving hologram of the late Princess of Wales,’ adding, ‘This is not in any way creepy and is exactly what the public wants.’

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Posted: Jan 6th, 2011
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‘Essential for bishops to have willies’, says Church of England

Archbishop of Canterbury later showed everyone the new secret handshake‘Certain traditional offices of the bishop are in practice impossible to discharge unless endowed with a penis, and preferably a good long one.’

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Posted: Aug 7th, 2010
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Archbishop of Canterbury calls for more home-grown scandals

Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams has told the Church of England that if they want to keep up with the Catholics they need to ‘raise their game’ and produce more of their own scandals.

Speaking at the General Synod, Dr Williams said: ‘in recent years the Catholics have really stolen a march on us. They get all the headlines now. If we want to compete with them then we will need to get our finger out.’

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Posted: Jun 6th, 2010
More from News In Brief



Pope condemns same-sex coalition

A diplomatic row with the Vatican looms after the Pope issued a stinging condemnation of same-sex Coalition, leading new prime minister David Cameron to insist: ‘I agree with Nick, and that’s as far as it goes, except, like, once or twice, but we were really, really drunk.’

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Posted: May 17th, 2010
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Church to publish ‘Bible lite’ to compete with Koran

In a move designed to challenge the rise of Islam, the Church will soon unveil the ‘Bible lite’, which is designed to ‘re-invent Christianity for the 21st century’.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2010
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