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Posts Tagged ‘armed forces’

UK poor people must do more to help kill foreign poor people, says Defence Secretary

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond says that poor people in Britain should do more to help to kill poor people in other countries by taking a cut in their welfare benefits to allow much-needed funds for the armed forces.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2013
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Robert Peston deployed to Afghanistan as a manned drone

He's NEV-er seen ANythinggg! LIKE it‘Peston’s role will be to reconnoitre enemy terrain, identify Taliban insurgents and then subdue them by talking for hours in his excruciatingly slow, dull monotone,’ explained the Defence Secretary.

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Posted: Jul 12th, 2012
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British forces suffer huge troop losses in ‘stroke of pen’ attack

In a shocking day of carnage on Tuesday, over 3,000 British troops were lost – the largest one day troop loss since World War II.

A solemn Chief of the Defence Staff, General Sir David Richards, offered his condolences to the families of those affected saying initial inquiries pointed to the attack being conducted by a ‘stroke of the pen’. Sir David then dropped a bombshell as he indicated that the losses may have been the result of ‘friendly fire’.

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2012
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Troops withdrawn from Afghanistan after failing health and safety workplace assessment

‘If we’d known that soldiers weren’t being provided with the correct style of ergonomic chair or that the temperature in the workplace was so high, we’d have shut the place down in a jiffy.’

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2011
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British Armed Forces to be replaced by the A-Team

'there ain't no planes to get on, fool!'As part of budget cuts, the entire Ministry of Defence is to be dismantled and replaced by four soldiers of fortune sent to prison for a crime they didn’t commit.

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2010
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