NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Posts Tagged ‘army’

Troops withdrawn from Afghanistan after failing health and safety workplace assessment

‘If we’d known that soldiers weren’t being provided with the correct style of ergonomic chair or that the temperature in the workplace was so high, we’d have shut the place down in a jiffy.’

Read more >

Posted: Dec 10th, 2011
More from UK News



US announces staged withdrawal from ‘spillage in aisle 14’

still considering pre-emptive strike on LidlUS President Barack Obama has promised that all US troops will exit from Tesco Extra, Chingford by 2019 ‘at the very latest’. The staged withdrawal, is set to begin in earnest September 2013 – before the start of the unforgiving ‘English winter’ – with the removal of 12,000 troops from the Jams, Spreads, Preserves and Marmalades aisle.

Read more >

Posted: Nov 15th, 2011
More from World News



Military careers day successfully avoids mention of chances of being shot

A major UK Armed Forces Careers Day was declared a success by military chiefs after it passed without one reference to the reasonably high probability of becoming a fatality statistic upon signing up. The joint careers effort from Britain’s army, navy and air force focused on learning a trade and ‘softer’ subjects including adventure training and the comparative ‘scoring potential’ of the different uniforms.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 31st, 2011
More from News In Brief



Ministry of Defence ‘mislays’ small war

Following an auditor’s report that the Ministry of Defence lost track of assets worth £6.3bn, embarrassed officials confirmed last night that the department had also managed to mislay a small war it was conducting.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 6th, 2011
More from News In Brief



‘Choice’ at the heart of MoD reforms

From as early as 2013 countries in need of liberty, freedom and democracy will no longer have these changes delivered by an invading force. Instead they will be provided with the finance needed to purchase liberation services from whatever source provides the best value.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 4th, 2011
More from News In Brief