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Posts Tagged ‘army’

US announces staged withdrawal from ‘spillage in aisle 14’

still considering pre-emptive strike on LidlUS President Barack Obama has promised that all US troops will exit from Tesco Extra, Chingford by 2019 ‘at the very latest’. The staged withdrawal, is set to begin in earnest September 2013 – before the start of the unforgiving ‘English winter’ – with the removal of 12,000 troops from the Jams, Spreads, Preserves and Marmalades aisle.

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Posted: Nov 15th, 2011
More from World News



Military careers day successfully avoids mentioning chances of being shot

A major UK Armed Forces Careers Day was declared a success by military chiefs after it passed without one reference to the reasonably high probability of becoming a fatality statistic upon signing up.

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Posted: Jul 31st, 2011
More from Features



Ministry of Defence ‘mislays’ small war

Following an auditor’s report that the Ministry of Defence lost track of assets worth £6.3bn, embarrassed officials confirmed last night that the department had also managed to mislay a small war it was conducting.

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Posted: Jul 6th, 2011
More from News In Brief



‘Choice’ at the heart of MoD reforms

From as early as 2013 countries in need of liberty, freedom and democracy will no longer have these changes delivered by an invading force. Instead they will be provided with the finance needed to purchase liberation services from whatever source provides the best value.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Football widows demand better pensions

‘These women represent the unseen consequences of husbands spending season after season supporting one of the principal premier league football teams, or Liverpool.’

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Posted: Oct 5th, 2010
More from News In Brief