Speaking from Wormwood Scrubs today, Dean Mullins revealed that if it wasn’t for an aptitude for armed robberies, he may have had to make do with life as a Premiership footballer.
Posted: Jan 30th, 2011
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Phil Brown, manager of struggling Hull City, is considering using suicide strikers in the club’s forthcoming fixture at home to Arsenal. ‘We beat them last season,’ said Brown, ‘but to be honest we were lucky. They say they’re tired from too many matches, but they could field their reserve side and still beat us.’
‘We’ve got lads who would die for Hull City,’ said Brown. ‘So I propose to take advantage of that loyalty. The first time we get a free kick within striking range, we put one of the lads in their defensive wall, and ‘kaboom!’
Posted: Mar 13th, 2010
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There was a day of frenzied activity in the Barclays Premiership yesterday as footballers rushed to beat the 6.00pm cut off for transferring girlfriends, wives and mistresses.
Posted: Feb 3rd, 2010
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Neanderthal leaders today told a hurriedly called press conference that there are ‘clear and obvious differences’ between Neanderthals and Arsenal fans.
Posted: Jan 21st, 2010
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Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger has complained to the FA that during Saturday’s game against Manchester United his players were ‘constantly harrassed’ by the opposing team.
Posted: Sep 1st, 2009
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