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Posts Tagged ‘Arsene Wenger’

Next Man United boss decided ‘Apprentice-style’

time's upThe successor to Sralex Ferguson as the manager of Manchester United has been chosen via a series of elimination tests, resulting in many hopeful managers losing any chance of ever enjoying ‘the big time’. Throughout the season, a large number of eager applicants with ridiculously over-inflated opinions of their abilities have been trialled but have failed spectacularly, and been summarily dismissed with the chilling words: ‘You’re fired’.

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Posted: May 9th, 2013
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Corporate execs welcome news that liking football ‘no longer compulsory’

Impressionable middle-managers were cock-a- hoop last night as it emerged that football has finally gone ‘off trend’.

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Posted: Oct 1st, 2012
More from News In Brief


Wenger to watch next Arsenal game from International Space Station

After suggestions that Arsene Wenger flouted his latest touchline ban by relaying phone messages to players via his assistant, UEFA have called for the Arsenal boss to watch his team’s second leg clash away to Italian club Udinese from the International Space Station.

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Posted: Aug 22nd, 2011
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Archbishop of Canterbury attacks Arsène Wenger for ‘lack of killer touch’

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, has launched an outspoken attack on Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger, criticising the Frenchman for ’persistent overuse of foreign players’ and ‘lack of killer touch‘.

The Archbishop made the remarks in a guest editorial for Shoot magazine.

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Posted: Jun 12th, 2011
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Arsène Strauss-Huhne in custody on fresh charges

French financier Arsène Strauss-Huhne was held in custody in Holloway police station last night as new evidence emerged of taking advantage of a defenceless football club.

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Posted: May 17th, 2011
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