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Arsenal win race to be embarrassed in Europe
Arsenal pipped local rivals Spurs for the opportunity to be humiliated as soon as they play a half decent team in next season’s Champions League. [read...]
Tagged Arsene Wenger
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Next Man United boss decided ‘Apprentice-style’
The successor to Sralex Ferguson as the manager of Manchester United has been chosen via a series of elimination tests, resulting in many hopeful managers losing any chance of ever enjoying ‘the big time’. [read...]
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Corporate execs welcome news that liking football ‘no longer compulsory’
Impressionable middle-managers were cock-a- hoop last night as it emerged that football has finally gone ‘off trend’. [read...]
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Wenger to watch next Arsenal game from International Space Station
After suggestions that Arsene Wenger flouted his latest touchline ban by relaying phone messages to players via his assistant, UEFA have called for the Arsenal boss to watch his team’s second leg clash away to Italian club Udinese from the International Space Station. [read...]
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Archbishop of Canterbury attacks Arsène Wenger for ‘lack of killer touch’
The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, has launched an outspoken attack on Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger, criticising the Frenchman for ’persistent overuse of foreign players’ and ‘lack of killer touch‘.
The Archbishop made the remarks in a guest editorial for Shoot magazine. [read...]