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Posts Tagged ‘Asda’

Baker refuses to decorate ‘World’s Best Dad’ cake

‘At first I couldn’t understand why she had written such a thing,’ said Sonia Walkinshaw. ‘I know that Laura’s dad recovered from brain cancer and he did that charity climb on Kilimanjaro, but even so, no-one’s dad is better than mine.’

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Posted: May 23rd, 2015
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People who demand to be forgotten online ‘can’t remember why’

You ain't seen me, right! ‘I don’t want to remember it, whatever it was.’

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Posted: May 18th, 2015
More from From The Archives



Lurpak on offer at Asda, says your wife’s mother at six in the frigging morning

and then she just wants to eat it, for heaven's sakeAccording to sources close to your wife, which during the last five seconds have have been positively identified with her mother, Lurpak is on sale at 40% off in Asda this week. The news emerged in a phone call that woke you 40 seconds ago from a dream about Little Mix playing netball in blue pleated skirts at two minutes past six, for f*ck’s sake.

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Posted: Apr 28th, 2015
More from UK News



Government urges shops to replace other shops in job creation bonanza

Employment Minister Esther McVey has called for Tesco to replace every Sainsburys store, Sainsburys to replace every Asda store and Asda to replace every Tesco store. ‘Whenever a massive shop opens, it creates hundreds of jobs’, she told reporters. ‘ I don’t really understand the maths – all these shops are doing is making it easier to buy stuff which was made in China. Nevertheless, apparently a new superstore equals job creation.

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Posted: Nov 17th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Asda introduces ‘slapping-friendly areas’ for shoppers with small children

won't be beaten on price, service or anything other than aisle 29 Asda is to create ‘slapping areas’ where frustrated parents can hit their children without causing offence to other shoppers.

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2014
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