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Posts Tagged ‘asylum seekers’

‘Is this cellulite in an ancient picture of Mary Magdalene?’ asks Daily Mail

princess last week, harlot this - house prices are going to suffer‘Close analysis of the picture shows that Mary Magdalene is displaying obvious signs of cellulite,’ wrote lifestyle analyst Liz Jones. ‘Worse still, her hair is all over the place. Ooh darling, that’s a fashion disaster. Call yourself an icon? You’ve let yourself go – you’re a disgrace to women everywhere.’

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2012
More from Faith, Lifestyle



Daily Mail ‘written entirely by illegal immigrants’

In a shock to the publishing world, the Telegraph newspaper claims to have evidence that the Daily Mail is not in fact written by right-wing British journalists, but by illegal immigrants working for a pittance in inner-city sweat shops.

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Cameron appoints Gillian Duffy as State Immigration Controller

‘In tackling both Gordon Brown and Nick Clegg, Mrs Duffy has shown she has no time for people who come here on false pretences,’ said the Prime Minister.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Daily Mail ‘struggling to find cancer, house price angle’ on Japan earthquake

‘My staff are working heroically to find an angle that will make this story interesting to the British public,’ said editor Paul Dacre.

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Daily Mail in turmoil as asylum seekers admit coming to UK mainly to read Daily Mail

immigrants naturally drawn to the fashion sectionDaily newspaper the Daily Mail has today been thrown into turmoil following the revelation that they have been unwittingly encouraging asylum seekers to come to Britain. A survey commissioned by the paper had sought to prove what their readers already knew, that asylum seekers were heading to the UK as it was a soft touch, but actually discovered that the main motivation for most migrants was their love for the Daily Mail.

One respondent told the survey the harrowing tale of her escape from genocide in Rwanda. ‘One night gunmen came to our village’ she said. ‘They murdered my husband and children, and I fled for my life, but I knew that there was light at the end of the tunnel, as if I could get to England I would soon be reading Richard Littlejohn’s wonderful column every day, not to mention their excellent Femail section’.

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Posted: Jul 27th, 2010
More from UK News