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Posts Tagged ‘asylum seekers’

Government to relaunch Dad’s Army to repel asylum seekers

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has today revealed plans to reform the Home Guard, originally set up during the Second World War as a last line of defence against a Nazi invasion, to prevent swarms of asylum seekers from invading the home counties.

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2015
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Daily Mail in turmoil as asylum seekers admit coming to UK mainly to read Daily Mail

immigrants naturally drawn to the fashion sectionDaily Mail thrown into turmoil after revelations that they have been unwittingly encouraging asylum seekers to come to Britain.

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Posted: Aug 1st, 2015
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‘Is this cellulite in an ancient picture of Mary Magdalene?’ asks Daily Mail

princess last week, harlot this - house prices are going to suffer‘Close analysis of the picture shows that Mary Magdalene is displaying obvious signs of cellulite,’ wrote lifestyle analyst Liz Jones. ‘Worse still, her hair is all over the place. Ooh darling, that’s a fashion disaster. Call yourself an icon? You’ve let yourself go – you’re a disgrace to women everywhere.’

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2012
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Daily Mail ‘written entirely by illegal immigrants’

In a shock to the publishing world, the Telegraph newspaper claims to have evidence that the Daily Mail is not in fact written by right-wing British journalists, but by illegal immigrants working for a pittance in inner-city sweat shops.

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2011
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Cameron appoints Gillian Duffy as State Immigration Controller

‘In tackling both Gordon Brown and Nick Clegg, Mrs Duffy has shown she has no time for people who come here on false pretences,’ said the Prime Minister.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2011
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