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Posts Tagged ‘Athletics’

Athlete with two artificial legs ‘was actually a horse’

hoping to prove the nay-sayers wrongAn athlete has today been banned from competing in the Paralympic Games after medical experts became suspicious of his claim to have two artificial legs when photographic evidence showed he still had two legs of his own.

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Posted: Aug 15th, 2012
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Elite athlete thanks Darwin for ‘gift’ of athletic prowess

Olympic hopeful Mark Jones has dedicated his natural athletic ability to Charles Darwin, after setting a new world record for the 400 metre hurdles.

Interviewed after the race Jones said a few short words to Darwin, who has recently become a part of his life and filled his heart with the wonders of evolution.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2012
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Usain Bolt tests positive for a Morris Oxford

hoping they won't find out about that Riley ElfThe London Olympics were hit by another scandal last night as the world’s fastest man, Usain Bolt, was found to have significant amounts of chromium in his blood after having ingested an entire Morris Oxford, Series VI.

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2012
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Obese hurdler finds faith in God no substitute for training and talent

‘What with praying eight hours a day, I didn’t really have the time to train. And there was the eating. Athletes need to take on board a lot of calories.’

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Posted: Jun 30th, 2011
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London Marathon spectator sets new record for endurance clapping

‘I started clapping when the elite women frontrunners went past this morning and haven’t stopped since.’

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2011
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