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Posts Tagged ‘austerity’

Crime falls by 10% as austerity hits burglars

The Crime Survey of England and Wales has shown that crimes against adults and households fell by 10% in the last year, further proof of austerity hitting every part of society. Rising prices of tools and a sharp fall in prices on the black market has seen the average burglar ‘barely break even’.

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2014
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Desperate bankers turn to payday loans to fund bonuses

As austerity measures continue to pinch, the Royal Bank of Scotland is concerned that shareholders may not approve a penurious 200% bonus for their frugal staff.

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2014
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‘Catch It, Bin It, Kill It’ campaign fails to kill off George Osborne

The infamous George Osborne (Georgeus Gideoliver Osbornosus) bacterium has failed to be controlled yet again

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2014
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Government announces help for the poor with launch of ‘Big Society’ magazine

help for plebs Families can sell them on street corners rather than begging for state handouts.

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Posted: Dec 22nd, 2013
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Merkel launches ‘Frank Bank’ as final solution to Eurozone crisis


In the wake of financial woes in the Eurozone, it has now been confirmed that Angela Merkel has launched a new German led European ‘Frank Bank’.

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2013
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