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Posts Tagged ‘austerity’

Banker learns everything would be better if he’d never been born

'Bedford Falls. Wallet Gains'Former Investment Banker, Henry F. Potter, was shocked to discover that life for everyone would be much, much better if he had simply never been born.

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2014
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Crime falls by 10% as austerity hits burglars

The Crime Survey of England and Wales has shown that crimes against adults and households fell by 10% in the last year, further proof of austerity hitting every part of society. Rising prices of tools and a sharp fall in prices on the black market has seen the average burglar ‘barely break even’.

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2014
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Desperate bankers turn to payday loans to fund bonuses

As austerity measures continue to pinch, the Royal Bank of Scotland is concerned that shareholders may not approve a penurious 200% bonus for their frugal staff.

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2014
More from UK News



Merkel launches ‘Frank Bank’ as final solution to Eurozone crisis


In the wake of financial woes in the Eurozone, it has now been confirmed that Angela Merkel has launched a new German led European ‘Frank Bank’.

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2013
More from World News



‘Catch It, Bin It, Kill It’ campaign fails to kill off George Osborne

The infamous George Osborne (Georgeus Gideoliver Osbornosus) bacterium has failed to be controlled yet again

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2013
More from Politics