NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘austerity’

Crime falls by 10% as austerity hits burglars

The Crime Survey of England and Wales has shown that crimes against adults and households fell by 10% in the last year, further proof of austerity hitting every part of society. Rising prices of tools and a sharp fall in prices on the black market has seen the average burglar ‘barely break even’.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 23rd, 2014
More from News In Brief



Merkel launches ‘Frank Bank’ as final solution to Eurozone crisis


In the wake of financial woes in the Eurozone, it has now been confirmed that Angela Merkel has launched a new German led European ‘Frank Bank’.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 28th, 2013
More from World News



‘Catch It, Bin It, Kill It’ campaign fails to kill off George Osborne

The infamous George Osborne (Georgeus Gideoliver Osbornosus) bacterium has failed to be controlled yet again

Read more >

Posted: Jan 20th, 2013
More from Politics



Hell to adopt austerity measures

Satan has today issued a press release warning that austerity measures might compromise the quality and severity of punishments in hell.

Costcutting measures have included halving the number of full-time employed demons tormenting sinners and turning down the thermostat from ‘burning’ to ‘a bit too hot’ to save on energy costs.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 14th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Government announces help for the poor with launch of ‘Big Society’ magazine

help for plebs Families can sell them on street corners rather than begging for state handouts.

Read more >

Posted: Dec 23rd, 2012
More from Politics, UK News