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Posts Tagged ‘Baby’

Future Sovereign Wealth Fund to create ‘world-beating Royal Baby Experts’

George Osborne today confirmed the launch of the UK’s first Future Sovereign Wealth Fund, tasked with ‘creating and sustaining a world-class Royal Baby Expert Industry for at least the next 21 bloody years’.

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2012
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Govt awareness campaign aimed at parents who ‘throw babies out with bath water’

‘It used to be common sense,’ laments veteran Chessington health worker Sharon Daniels after rescuing another new-born from the mains sewer outside a bewildered local family’s house, ‘but these days parents don’t seem to know not to flush their babies away after bathing them.’

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Posted: Sep 15th, 2011
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Cameron’s baby has passed GCSE maths

The new baby daughter of Samantha and David Cameron has passed its CGSE Mathematics with a creditable B grade at the age of one day. Education secretaryMichael Gove has hailed this as an example of everything the coalition is working for.

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Posted: Aug 25th, 2010
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Baby wows onlookers by keeping shoes on

An 8 month-old has baby stunned shoppers at Birmingham’s Bull-Ring retail centre by keeping her shoes and socks on for an astonishing two hours.

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Posted: Aug 18th, 2009
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Scientists confirm couple’s baby ‘actually IS centre of the universe’

Physicists have confirmed that there is in fact a centre of the universe and that it is Benjamin James Milton, an 18-month old toddler from Knutsford, Cheshire.

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Posted: Aug 18th, 2008
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