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Posts Tagged ‘badger cull’

Princess Anne advocates ‘talking badgers to death’

There was outrage today as animal welfare groups reacted to clarification from the Palace that Princess Anne had meant that ‘one should simply talk these animals to death’, rather than use poison gas.

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Posted: Apr 5th, 2014
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Badgers now thought to be ‘virtually immortal’

run, run for your livesGovernment scientists have come to the conclusion that badgers are pretty much immortal following the failure of the recent cull to put much of a dent in their numbers.

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Posted: Jan 30th, 2014
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Badger named as England goalie for crucial Montenegro clash

hopes to live to see the day when he can play for NewcastleEngland goalkeeper Joe Hart was considering his future today after being left out of the squad to face Montenegro in England’s vital world cup qualifier, and being replaced by a badger.

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Posted: Oct 10th, 2013
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Scared Wombles ‘vow to defend themselves’ following TB outbreak in SW19

Reports linking a possible TB outbreak on Wimbledon Common to the activity of Wombles have been described as ‘malicious and untrue’ by their leader, Great Uncle Bulgaria. Fearing reprisals, he insisted the group would defend themselves, making very good use of the things that they’ve found, including several handguns and a batch of AK47s that were discovered under the bushes.

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2013
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Plan to train badgers to cull themselves

The Government is considering a plan proposed by the MOD to train badgers to replace marksman by 2015. ‘We are confident that local badgers are in the best position to spot sufferers of TB and to shoot them’, explained a spokesman.

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2012
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