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Posts Tagged ‘badger’

DEFRA enter into an unholy alliance with Badgers

‘The game has changed,’ said a DEFRA spokesman, ‘this is ducks against humans. The Bovine Protection Army can shove its Badger Cull up its arse as far as we’re concerned.’

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2014
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DEFRA chief ‘caught wife in bed with badger’

The mystery of DEFRA’s antipathy towards badgers may have been solved, with the publication of a shocking ‘Cull and Tell’ memoir by DEFRA insider Alison Bethel.

‘When foxes turned urban, we weren’t too worried’, she writes. ‘It was just a bit of rummaging in bins, playing hip-hop music, that sort of thing. But badgers went one step further – they turned urbane. They were the talk of the Home Counties – sophisticated, witty, charming, with a hint of the night about them. Actually, quite a lot of the night, being nocturnal.

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Posted: Feb 28th, 2014
More from Environment



Badger admits falsifying ‘killer spider’ story to deflect attention from cull

don't be stupid, it's only a spiderA crafty badger has today admitted to circulating a misleading and factually incorrect story about ‘man-eating death spiders’, in a desperate bid to lead the publics’ attention away from the mass badger cull that shot into action back in August.

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Posted: Oct 18th, 2013
More from Environment



Plan to train badgers to cull themselves

The Government is considering a plan proposed by the MOD to train badgers to replace marksman by 2015. ‘We are confident that local badgers are in the best position to spot sufferers of TB and to shoot them’, explained a spokesman.

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Badger militia group claims third victim

The war against badgers took a backward step today as the Badger Rights Alliance (BRA) claimed it’s 3rd victim in as many weeks. Clive Wormley a 48 year old cattle farmer from Staffordshire was killed by a roadside badger while taking his herd to the dairy for milking at 5:30am today.

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Posted: Dec 21st, 2011
More from News In Brief