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Posts Tagged ‘Bank of England’

Bank of England sells unwanted gold reserves after seeing daytime TV ad

The Bank of England is making another bid to boost the UK’s economic recovery, this time by sending off the nation’s remaining gold reserves to one of those companies who advertise on daytime TV. The move could raise as much as £400 to help refinance the economy.

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2009
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Chancellor to buy new economy, rather than fix current one

The Chancellor of the Exchequer has announced a trillion-pound plan to scrap the current British economy and buy a completely new one.

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Posted: Aug 21st, 2009
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Bank of England forced to delay cash injection after Economy Pump breaks down

The Bank of England’s plans to pump another £50bn into the economy, in order to keep interest rates unchanged, have been put on hold this evening after their 200-year-old Economy Pump broke down under the strain.

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2009
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UK credit debt ‘in no way the fault of people who spend too much’

As the UK credit debt reaches GBP54.4bn the Bank of England and the Government were quick to condemn lenders for their irresponsible behaviour. ‘This is in no way the fault of people who max their credit card with no idea how they will ever pay the money back,’ a spokesman for the Bank of England said.

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2009
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Mervyn King to accompany PM everywhere and contradict him in real-time

PM bound to need help from time to timeWith strong support from the CBI, the OECD, IMF, World Bank and heads of the G20 nations, Mervyn King will shortly be appearing next to Gordon Brown everywhere he goes and pointing out on the spot when the Prime Minister says something that might be just ‘a teensy bit wrong’. Armed with his own assessments from the Bank of England and detailed analyses and forecasts from the other agencies, Mr King will be able to swiftly put the record straight when the PM says something daft like ‘we can just print all the money we want’.

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Posted: Jul 2nd, 2009
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