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Posts Tagged ‘bankers’

Scientists hail first sighting of elusive bankers’ morals

physicists allowing themselves an extra scotch egg for lunch, as a bonus‘We knew one banker, somewhere, must have had a pang of guilt at least once,’ declared an exhausted and delighted spokesman.

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2012
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‘Mansion tax’ proposal welcomed by makers of Monopoly board game

Hasbro, makers of the popular Monopoly game, have called for the Government to go further and introduce taxes for those who have more than two houses on the same road, and for hotel owners.

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2012
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Three dead and many injured as bandwagon collapses

There were scenes of chaos in the Houses of Parliament today as the bankers bonuses bandwagon finally collapsed under the weight of political outrage. The emergency services are still searching for survivors amongst the rubble with the fear that the smallest spark could set off an explosion of flatulent opinion.

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2012
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‘Employee Of The Month’ turns down £50 bonus

Receptionist and Peter Paperclip PLC’s ‘Employee Of The Month’ for January Sarah Hannigan, has publicly announced her decision to turn down the cash bonus that comes with the coveted accolade. She was due to pocket a pre-tax windfall of £50 following her EOTM award.

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2012
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RBS freezes Queen’s bank accounts at Coutts and Co. after Goodwin stripped of Knighthood

Her Majesty brought along an 'n' and defaced their logoThe bank informed Her Majesty that it had no option but to withdraw facilities, and that she could ‘stick her Knighthood right up her big fat Royal corgi’.

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Posted: Jan 31st, 2012
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