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Posts Tagged ‘banks’

Britain’s banks downgraded to ‘bastards’

'A loan!?! You want a loan?!?'Several other major financial institutions fear they could lose their cherished status of ‘immoral grabbing shitbags’.

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Posted: Aug 7th, 2014
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Bank of England to open branch on every high street

Mark Carney to personally shake hands with every new customerA budget which promised help for savers, free access to pension funds to lend to the government through new bonds, and tax-free savings up to £15,000 in an ISA failed to explain the whole picture, analysts have revealed.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2014
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Charities admit ‘huge cardboard cheques are a pain to pay in’

Charity cheque‘They don’t fit under the little window, you try bending them and that doesn’t work. Soon everyone behind you starts tutting.’

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Posted: Mar 12th, 2014
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‘Banks to be replaced with sweeties and bouncy castles’, promises Milliband

Labour leader Ed Milliband has given a pre-election pledge to replace failing high street banks with bouncy castles and to give all Labour voters a ‘big bag of sweeties’.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2014
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Businesses complain that banks are acting like businesses

A shocking report exposing large Banks as centres of sharp business practices has been published. Other not-so-sharp businesses complained ‘We thought they were just there to give us the money. Then they asked for it back. The government should do something.’

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Posted: Nov 28th, 2013
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