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Posts Tagged ‘banks’

Royal Bank of Scotland to be sold to Betfred.com

Royal Bank of Scotland, 65% owned by UK taxpayers, is to be sold to the online gambling organisation Betfred.com, it has been announced. The exact details of the deal are yet to be revealed, but it is understood that only a nominal payment will be made to ‘take it off your hands, gov.’

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2013
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Triple-dip latest: Jubilant Chancellor ‘ready’ for outpouring of national gratitude

The ever-popular Chancellor, George Osborne, has led a wave of national jubilation after the wonderful news emerged that the UK has avoided a triple-dip recession.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2013
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Merkel launches ‘Frank Bank’ as final solution to Eurozone crisis


In the wake of financial woes in the Eurozone, it has now been confirmed that Angela Merkel has launched a new German led European ‘Frank Bank’.

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2013
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Shock as banks are caught doing what they’re best at doing

‘We apologize to all those naive customers who, following our recent spate of apologies and promises to do better, may have been misled into thinking we might be embracing honesty and all that stuff.’

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Posted: Jun 28th, 2012
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RBS say ‘glitch’ that caused credit crunch now fixed

helpful HesterThe Royal Bank of Scotland has today come out and apologised for the ‘minor glitch’ in its systems which caused it to almost crumble into bankruptcy and need a multi-billion pound bail-out from every UK taxpayer, with the possible exception of Jimmy Carr.

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Posted: Jun 27th, 2012
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