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Posts Tagged ‘banks’

Triple-dip latest: Jubilant Chancellor ‘ready’ for outpouring of national gratitude

The ever-popular Chancellor, George Osborne, has led a wave of national jubilation after the wonderful news emerged that the UK has avoided a triple-dip recession.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2013
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Merkel launches ‘Frank Bank’ as final solution to Eurozone crisis


In the wake of financial woes in the Eurozone, it has now been confirmed that Angela Merkel has launched a new German led European ‘Frank Bank’.

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2013
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Shock as banks are caught doing what they’re best at doing

‘We apologize to all those naive customers who, following our recent spate of apologies and promises to do better, may have been misled into thinking we might be embracing honesty and all that stuff.’

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Posted: Jun 28th, 2012
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RBS say ‘glitch’ that caused credit crunch now fixed

helpful HesterThe Royal Bank of Scotland has today come out and apologised for the ‘minor glitch’ in its systems which caused it to almost crumble into bankruptcy and need a multi-billion pound bail-out from every UK taxpayer, with the possible exception of Jimmy Carr.

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Posted: Jun 27th, 2012
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Fears that Sunday opening may raise customer hopes about banking service

‘It’s a very worrying development,’ said a NatWest spokeswoman. ‘Some customers may have got the wrong idea about Sunday’s opening and think we are about to start responding to customer needs which, of course, is simply out of the question.’

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2012
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