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Posts Tagged ‘Barack Obama’

‘Birthers’ conflicted after Obama’s birth certificate proves he is son of God

on a mission to heal the sickRepublican conspiracy theorists have reported bewilderment today after their persistent claims for documentary evidence of the President’s place of birth were answered by a birth certificate confirming that Barack Obama was born neither in Hawaii or Kenya, but in a stable in Bethlehem.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2014
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US threatens Russia with more sanctions, starting with the export of Disney films

Barrack Obama has stepped up the rhetoric in the dispute with Vladimir Putin over Russia’s actions in Ukraine, confirming that any further threats to Ukrainian sovereignty would lead to drastic action, starting with a full and non-negotiable export ban on Disney films.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2014
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Diplomatic chaos as Iran attempts to harness power of ‘butterfly effect’

international panic will start on a small scale then escalate exponentiallyUN inspectors have been asked to investigate allegations that Iran has been secretly developing weapons grade butterflies in an attempt to use chaos theory to launch hurricanes around the world.

‘This is the nightmare scenario,’ said physicist Professor Michio Kaku. ‘The butterfly effect suggests that a single butterfly flapping its wings in one country could trigger a hurricane on the other side of the planet. Just imagine the devastation that could be caused by thousands of them all flapping together in the same direction.’

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Posted: Apr 9th, 2014
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Obama and Putin hour-long phone call was ‘gay hold music’

Initially, White House aides tried ‘Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?’ but when Putin was heard tutting tetchily, they intervened with a recorded message stating ‘Please continue holding, your invasion is important to us’ and started playing ‘Macho Man’ by the Village People’.

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Posted: Mar 10th, 2014
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Illuminati estate agents gloat as Crimea crisis deepens

safe havenskiAs the stand-off between Russia and Ukraine continues, the Illuminati are cackling with glee as their plans for world domination through manipulation of the London property market fall quietly into place.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
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