Barrack Obama has stepped up the rhetoric in the dispute with Vladimir Putin over Russia’s actions in Ukraine, confirming that any further threats to Ukrainian sovereignty would lead to drastic action, starting with a full and non-negotiable export ban on Disney films.
Posted: Apr 14th, 2014
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UN inspectors have been asked to investigate allegations that Iran has been secretly developing weapons grade butterflies in an attempt to use chaos theory to launch hurricanes around the world.
‘This is the nightmare scenario,’ said physicist Professor Michio Kaku. ‘The butterfly effect suggests that a single butterfly flapping its wings in one country could trigger a hurricane on the other side of the planet. Just imagine the devastation that could be caused by thousands of them all flapping together in the same direction.’
Posted: Apr 9th, 2014
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Initially, White House aides tried ‘Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?’ but when Putin was heard tutting tetchily, they intervened with a recorded message stating ‘Please continue holding, your invasion is important to us’ and started playing ‘Macho Man’ by the Village People’.
Posted: Mar 10th, 2014
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As the stand-off between Russia and Ukraine continues, the Illuminati are cackling with glee as their plans for world domination through manipulation of the London property market fall quietly into place.
Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
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The result of the bidding to be the next country to be invaded by Russia during an Olympics are set to be announced at a glitzy ceremony in St Tropez later today.
The competition hasn’t been as fierce as expected in the race to follow in the footsteps of Poland in 1920, Hungary in 1956, the 1968 event in Czechoslovakia and the more recent hosts Georgia and Ukraine as had been expected.
Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
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