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Posts Tagged ‘Barack Obama’

Clinton looking forward to ‘a massive cigar’

might still smoke it out in that quiet little room with no cameras...Former President Bill Clinton has greeted with delight the news that Americans might be allowed to import Cuban cigars legally after President Obama announced plans to normalise relations between the two countries. ‘I have had some enormous cigars in the past,’ he told the Washington Post. ‘As a young man these were totally huge. Many of my friends and colleagues will remember just how big these totally legal large cylindrical male-oriented objects were.’

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Posted: Dec 18th, 2014
More from World News



Riots as US runs out of bullets

US citizens just dar gone ran outa languageAt 1.36 Eastern Standard Time the United States of America officially declared that they had run out of ammo. The ensuing chaos has seen riots and looting in twelve major cities, as a bewildered populace struggle to come to terms with the loss of their favourite past time – shooting classmates, Beatles and ‘anyone who isn’t an albino’.

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2014
More from World News



Miliband declares victory in US Midterms‏

Apparently Mr Miliband 'whupped their asses real good'Much to the surprise and delight of the Labour faithful, their leader announced sweeping gains in the US Senate today. Despite being separated by a political ideology and 3000 miles of Atlantic Ocean, Ed Miliband was able to take the credit for the Republican Party’s recent success and for becoming the first British female solo artist to have five number one singles in the UK.

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2014
More from Politics



UK troops leave Afghanistan never to return, probably

The union flag was lowered at Camp Bastion and ceremoniously packed away, until it is required to be raised again at Camp Bastion by the next US President.

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Mr Uppity ‘fuming’ after secret video reveals disparaging comments about Mr Men

still supported by almost half the populationIn the recording, made at a private donor dinner for Uppity supporters, the wealthy top hat-wearing aristocrat is shown describing 47% of Mr Men and Little Misses as ‘scroungers’ who would ‘only ever’ vote for his opponent.

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Posted: Sep 23rd, 2014
More from From The Archives