NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Barack Obama’

Obama and Putin hour-long phone call was ‘gay hold music’

Initially, White House aides tried ‘Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?’ but when Putin was heard tutting tetchily, they intervened with a recorded message stating ‘Please continue holding, your invasion is important to us’ and started playing ‘Macho Man’ by the Village People’.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 10th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Illuminati estate agents gloat as Crimea crisis deepens

safe havenskiAs the stand-off between Russia and Ukraine continues, the Illuminati are cackling with glee as their plans for world domination through manipulation of the London property market fall quietly into place.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
More from World News



Next country to be invaded by Russia during an Olympics to be named

The result of the bidding to be the next country to be invaded by Russia during an Olympics are set to be announced at a glitzy ceremony in St Tropez later today.

The competition hasn’t been as fierce as expected in the race to follow in the footsteps of Poland in 1920, Hungary in 1956, the 1968 event in Czechoslovakia and the more recent hosts Georgia and Ukraine as had been expected.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
More from News In Brief



UK & US rule out military intervention: Russia actually has WMDs

David Cameron and Barack Obama have today ruled out the possibility of taking any military action in Ukraine, on the grounds that Russia definitely does have Weapons of Mass Destruction. ‘We don’t need to send in Hans Blix to justify anything this time’, explained the Prime Minister.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 6th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Obama proposes gun control for under-threes and monkeys

Barack Obama has controversially announced measures to limit firearm access for the under-threes. US citizens under the age of three may soon be limited to the ownership of four fire-arms per child, and monkeys could be left without weaponry entirely.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 6th, 2014
More from News In Brief