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Posts Tagged ‘Barack Obama’

Obama visits Mandela prison cell: ‘still better than Alton Towers’

‘I’d be hard-pressed to say that it was less enjoyable than joining the tail-end of a four-hour queue for Nemesis, in the rain’

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2013
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Britain ‘comes out’ as openly racist

Union Jack, made in Indonesia for Christ's sakeIn a move that stunned many of the country’s fans, Britain today issued a formal statement saying it was coming out as openly racist.

Giving his reaction to the UK’s ‘outing’, President Obama simply said: ‘Shit.’

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Posted: May 1st, 2013
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North Korean missile threat timing slammed as ‘insensitive’

'but what about Thatcher?'Political leaders around the world have today unified in their condemnation of the current aggressive stance by North Korea. The timing is being censured as both tasteless and inconsiderate, when most heads of state or their senior diplomats will wish to pay their respects to one another at the Thatcher funeral on Wednesday.

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Posted: Apr 12th, 2013
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Channel 5 announces new gameshow, ‘Skivers Vs Strivers’

a fight to the deathUlrika Jonsson and Vinnie Jones are to front a new Channel 5 reality show Skivers Vs Strivers, which the programme makers say ‘pits disgruntled middle-income worker drones against feckless benefits sponges’.

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Posted: Jan 9th, 2013
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Republicans ask why rape pregnancy is God’s will but winning election isn’t

Less than a day after Mitt Romney was defeated by Barack Obama, Republicans have already started the campaign post-mortem. After agreeing that the candidate, policies, and campaign strategy were faultless, the blame was laid entirely at God’s door.

Romney strategist Karl Rove pulled no punches: ‘When God is required to do nothing, like standing by and watching a rape victim get impregnated, he excels. But when God is required to do something, like ensure Mitt Romney wins the election, he is asleep at the wheel.’

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Posted: Nov 8th, 2012
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