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Posts Tagged ‘Barclays’

Scientists hail first sighting of elusive bankers’ morals

physicists allowing themselves an extra scotch egg for lunch, as a bonus‘We knew one banker, somewhere, must have had a pang of guilt at least once,’ declared an exhausted and delighted spokesman.

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2012
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Barclays CEO rescues six kittens from a bin, takes them to kids’ cancer ward

now deicating himself to protecting other endangered creatures, like bankers‘It’s what anyone would do,’ said Barclays CEO Bob Diamond after leaping in front of a rubbish truck to save six kittens discarded in a bin.

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Posted: Jun 29th, 2012
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Notorious criminal boss elects ‘not to accept bonus this year’

lying low until bribery comes back into fashionThe overlord of an organised criminal gang yesterday announced that due to poor corporate performance and discovery of some questionable business practices, he will be foregoing his annual bonus this year.

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Posted: Jun 29th, 2012
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Barclays to sue over mis-sold protection against PPI claims

Bob Diamond, is furious. ‘I’ve seen the policy myself and disappointingly, if you actually read it, it grants us absolutely no license to fuck people over with impunity at all. That’s if you can read it – the print’s really small.’

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Posted: Apr 27th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Village fights to lose its Barclays

Barclays“We’ve tried to compromise and have it converted to a trendy wine bar, but no dice.”

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2011
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