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Posts Tagged ‘Battersea Dogs’ Home’

Dogs having to impregnate too many ‘Sorry You’re Leaving’ cards with bum smells

‘Once it was only when a long-standing pack member was leaving,’ said Monty, a border terrier. ‘These days, the plain brown envelopes come round to celebrate the birth of a colleague’s puppies, a successful de-worming and even a new basket. I’m fed up with having to cock my leg to congratulate some bitch I barely know.’

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2013
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Canines criticise rescue centre for ‘irresponsible promotion’ of size-zero dogs

Published photos of a malnourished rescued dog dubbed ‘the thinnest dog seen alive’ have left other canines feeling unhappy with the way they look.

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2012
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Battersea Dogs Home to start taking in abandoned pensioners

‘We have found OAPs down country lanes, in other people’s sheds, and even one who had been put in a sack with bricks and thrown in the canal.’

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2011
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Bird Flu-resistant chickens ‘actually cats’

Researchers who have developed a new genetically modified strain of chickens that are able to resist bird flu have denied claims they are actually cats.

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Posted: Jan 14th, 2011
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Thousands of healthy men ‘being put down’

According to one expert on human mating rituals, the average unattached male must suffer at least five or six put-downs every Friday night during their quest for a mate

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Posted: Aug 4th, 2010
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