NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘BBC’

Cameron calls for calm in the worsening Bake Off conflict

Tart!The UN is calling for air-strikes to intervene after Diana Beard, a 69 year-old WI activist from Shropshire, was filmed taking a bearded combatant’s ice-cream out of the freezer during the Great British Bake Off.

‘It was only for 40 seconds or so,’ she protested to UN observers. Billionaire Peace Envoy Tony Blair tweeted from the safety of his villa in Tuscany, ’45 seconds is all it takes. We cannot stand idly by. #ToldYouSo #MyPlaceInHistory.’

President Obama, in an unusually hawkish mood issued a statement stating that ‘Atrocities against baked Alaska are just unacceptable’. More swiftly than usual he decisively did nothing. A congressman summed up a grim situation: ‘Great Britain is a small country with most of its inhabitants forced into a narrow strip of land to the south facing the sea. The people have literally no-where to go, it is a siege.’

Read more >

Posted: Aug 28th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



New Dr Who series abandoned due to passport backlog

Plans for the new Doctor Who series have been put on hold after a passport backlog at the Home Office forced the Time Lord to cancel a planned journey through time and space.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 25th, 2014
More from News In Brief



BBC and Police to extend holiday house-sitting service by popular demand

best if they've all gone on a summer holidayFollowing the recent raid on Sir Cliff Richard’s home, where police hung around for a while tending the plants and generally keeping the place tidy while the BBC filmed it, many celebrities are vying to experience for themselves the new BBC/Police house-sitting service while they are off on their holidays.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 22nd, 2014
More from Celebrity



Married men delighted with return of ‘The Great British Bake Off’

After an agonisingly long wait, married men up and down the country were delighted to see the return of the BBC’s ‘The Great British Bake Off’ last night.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 7th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Des Lynam ‘the only man left you can trust’, confirm Yewtree investigators

shouldn't you be at work?Officers investigating allegations of sexual abuse by notable figures from the 60s and 70s have concluded today that, the only man currently alive that’s ‘completely trustworthy’, is veteran TV and radio presenter, Des Lynam.

‘We investigated Des thoroughly, and amazingly, we found zilch’, said one anonymous Yewtree investigator today. ‘We rummaged through his bins, hacked into his computer and interrogated him in a hot room for six days straight, but the guy’s clean. We didn’t even find any evidence of any suspiciously long hugs. We’re now able to confirm that Des Lynam is currently the only celebrity over sixty still at liberty to appear on TV not wearing a pair of handcuffs with a jacket pulled over his head’.

Read more >

Posted: Jun 24th, 2014
More from UK News