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Posts Tagged ‘BBC’

First penis transplant: Clarkson moves to SKY

just dicking aboutSpurred on by abundant rumours that the curmudgeonly Top Gear presenter deliberately struck his co-employee to contrive a more lucrative TV contract elsewhere, SKY satellite engineers have vowed to work around the clock to detach Clarkson from his currently uncomfortable position and ‘re-assign’ the little fella. However, the surgical manoeuvre is complicated by the risk of damaging the attached scrotum, or James May as he is known.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment



Clarkson fans show support by punching each other, themselves

the most important story... in the world.The suspension of Jeremy Clarkson from from the BBC has been met with protests involving displays of self-flagellation and ‘appropriate, before the watershed’ violence by many of his 300 million supporters.

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Posted: Mar 11th, 2015
More from Celebrity



‘I and I getting back to us roots’ claims Cliff

He went on to explain that Cliff didn’t want to live in the luxury UK development after the BBC and Yorkshire police had been all over it looking for his ganja.

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Posted: Mar 1st, 2015
More from News In Brief



BBC lose Operation Yewtree franchise to Sky

In a day of frantic bidding, Sky has won exclusive rights to Operation Yewtree raids, wresting control from the BBC. The move has won especial approval from the South Yorkshire Police Commissioner, who stated that his officers ‘were looking forward to working closely with Sky.’

In a separate statement officers from Operation Yewtree praised the BBC for its ‘unstinting professionalism’ and insisted that most Yewtree officers would ‘probably continue to purchase a TV Licence.’

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment



Brits triumph at the Corrupt Politician Awards

British stars were out in force at the Corrupt Politician Awards, held last night in a luxurious but secret overseas location at the UK taxpayers’ expense. Jack Straw and Malcolm Rifkind showed that British sleaze is still as strong as ever and were delighted to pick up the top prizes of lucrative contracts with companies that may or may not exist.

‘It makes you proud to be British’ said the BBC’s Nick Robinson, from beside the red carpet, where the M.P.s posed for photographs by putting their hands over their faces before going inside to be secretly filmed receiving their cash prizes. ‘Britain has shown it is a world force when it comes to dodgy politicians. It takes you back to the hey-day of British sleaze.’

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2015
More from Politics