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Posts Tagged ‘Beelzebub’

Cameron to give Satan ‘second chance’ as No.10 press secretary

important to have connectionsPrime Minister David Cameron has today denied accusations of poor judgement after confirming that he has appointed Satan, former overseer of hell, as his new director of communications in Downing Street.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2014
More from From The Archives

Good and Evil now neck and neck in the polls as both shift to centre ground

A hung parliament could mean a coalition between Good and EvilThe fight between Good and Evil could see a disappointing turn out at the polls, with voter apathy blamed on the convergence of the two parties.

‘They’re all the bloody same,’ said one voter, ‘nobody knows what Evil stands for any more.’ ‘I used to vote Good, but they’ve lost their way,’ said another, who refused to give his name for fear of recriminations.

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Posted: Sep 1st, 2012
More from Politics

God and Satan: ‘No reunion, this year’

they still can't seem to get alongThe Lord God Almighty and Satan, Prince of Darkness, have ruled out getting back together again, after enjoying wildly successful solo careers. God, relaxing in the Italian resort of Lake Como told reporters that it was extremely unlikely he would welcome Beelzebub back into the fold. ‘I know a lot of people would love to see it,’ says the Lord, ‘and the money’s on the table. But to be honest I’m not sure the old magic would still be there. I honestly don’t think we could bear to be in the same room together, it wouldn’t be fair on everyone else, and the tension would be unbearable.’

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2010
More from World News

Satan releases DNA results to prove no link with Mandelson

A triumphant Satan held a press conference yesterday, after a DNA test proved he has no genetic link to Peter Mandelson.

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Posted: May 2nd, 2009
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