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Britain basically a One Direction-worshipping country, says Cameron
You don’t know you’re beautiful, baby [read...]
Tagged Beliebers
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Official singles chart to count high-pitched screaming
For the first time ever, alongside streaming services, teenagers emitting ultrasonic squeals of delight will be used in calculating album and singles sales. Pant-wetting, fainting and ‘excitement-induced fainting’ will also form part of a complicated algorithm designed to measure contemporary trends. [read...]
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Justin Bieber tipped for Toronto Mayor job
The 19-year-old ‘King of Teen Pop’ has confirmed via Twitter that he will be running for office in this year’s Toronto Mayoral elections. [read...]
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Teenage girls told to ‘hide in lofts’ to avoid Justin Bieber
Teenage girls across Europe have today been warned to go into hiding to protect themselves from the increasingly sinister threat posed by pop star Justin Bieber. Critics of the 19-year-old Canadian, who has embarked on a campaign to cause offence throughout Europe, [read...]