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Posts Tagged ‘BGT’

‘Ebola’ bookies favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

a new superstar to consume the public's hearts and mindsThe odds of a non-UK resident winning series eight of the ever popular talent show have dramatically shortened today, with the late entry of an outbreak of virulent hemorrhagic fever from Guinea.

Seen as ‘more photogenic than SuBo’, the virus promises to be just as ‘virulent as Diversity’, as ‘deadly as Paul Potts’ and guaranteed to cause ‘more internal bleeding’ than Jai McDowall’s last album. The 2012 BGT tour was axed due to low ticket sales, but EBOV is committed to ‘filling emergency rooms up and down the land’.

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Posted: Apr 1st, 2014
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Alesha Dixon criticised for only giving ‘100% yes’ to Britain’s Got Talent contestant

Britain’s Got Talent judge Alesha Dixon has been labelled ‘evil’ by viewers after sending 9-year-old singer Malakai Paul through to the next round with a mere ‘100% yes’.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2012
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ITV to drop all pretence with ‘Britain’s Got Freaks’

there probably won't be a second round ‘Today’s viewing public don’t care if a contestant’s unemployed Asperger’s Syndrome granny’s dying wish is to see them make the big time, we just want fatter, poorer and less attractive people than us humiliating themselves live on stage – it’s the ultimate in feelgood television.’

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2012
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Cameron denies fixing allegations in Coalition’s Got Talent

Clegg through to the next round 'on merit'David Cameron has rejected claims that the coalition is fixed and that he signed Nick Clegg to his party years before last May’s public vote. It is alleged that a young and innocent Clegg was secretly auditioned by Tory talent scouts before being signed to their label and cynically groomed for office.

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Posted: Jun 5th, 2011
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