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Posts Tagged ‘Big Society’

God’s not as bad as a drink driver, says Archbishop

‘Well, although I concede that God abandoned his Son, that doesn’t make him as bad as a drink driver. We all have to make sacrifices sometimes. God is not a bad dad.’

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Posted: Jun 20th, 2011
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Big Society permits killing of chuggers, says Cameron

David Cameron has announced that, as part of the Big Society, British citizens will be allowed to kill any student on minimum wage who accosts them in the street, pretends he is working for Save the Squid and treats them as their greatest friend on Earth.

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2011
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Cameron to end ‘postcode lottery’ of postcodes

best postcodes now available for everyoneThe coalition government has pledged to end the ‘postcode lottery’ of postcode allocation by allowing communities to choose their own postcodes. ‘No longer will people be disadvantaged, or their house prices affected, by the state imposing an alpha-numeric suffix that shows where they live,’ said the Prime Minister yesterday. ‘Why should anyone be denied access to a Mayfair address, just because they happen to live in Peckham?’

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Posted: Mar 25th, 2011
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Big Society success as community choir takes control of policing

‘The Big Society is about giving control of public services back to community groups and charities,’ said Mr Cameron. What these local activists lack in experience, funding, training and competence they more than make up for with enthusiasm and their own gardening tools.’

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Posted: Feb 14th, 2011
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ASBOs to be replaced by town square naughty steps

"all about mutual respect 'n' shit" confirms Home SecretaryAntisocial Behaviour Orders are to be replaced by more progressive discipline strategies such as stopping pocket money, confiscating favourite toys and banishing yobs to the naughty step.

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2011
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