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Posts Tagged ‘Bin Laden’

‘Bollocks,’ says Bin Laden, staring morosely at bowl of 72 grapes

banana 'would have been nice, at least'The soul of Osama bin Laden has admitted to ‘mild disappointment’ at finding that his reward for mass murder in the name of God in the afterlife has turned out to be 72 grapes, rather than 72 nubile virgins.

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2011
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America to clone Bin Laden and put him on trial

'plenty more where that one came from'The American government has confirmed that they intend to clone a new version of Osama bin Laden who will be made to stand trial, be found guilty and then executed all over again. ‘Many people were delighted when they heard that we had shot bin Laden,’ said President Obama, ‘but, at the same time, a lot of people also wanted to see him face trial for his crimes. Cloning bin Laden gives everyone what they want.’

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Posted: Jun 21st, 2011
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Submerged Bin Laden model now ‘most popular aquarium decoration’

CIA advises that tank still needs cleaningA sunken model of the former Al Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden has proved a hit with aquarium owners who more normally decorate their fish tanks with shipwrecks or little castles. Suppliers have confirmed that the figure, a faithful reproduction rendered in tank safe ceramics and non toxic paint, is outselling many other popular fish tank decorations, including the mermaid and aerating treasure chest.

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Posted: May 15th, 2011
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Bin Laden’s death confirmed by Bin Laden

The death of Al-Qaeda leader and enemy number one of the West, Osama bin Laden, was today confirmed by Al-Qaeda leader and enemy number one of the West, Osama bin Laden…

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Posted: May 7th, 2011
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Archbishop’s ‘discomfort’ at Hitler suicide

Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams has expressed ‘deep discomfort’ over the suicide of Adolf Hitler…

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Posted: May 7th, 2011
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