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Posts Tagged ‘black hole’

Overcrowding on London Midland train creates dark matter from passengers

Overcrowding on a London Midland service to Crewe from London Euston earlier today reached a critical point when the densely packed passengers fused together to create dark matter and the beginnings of a black hole.

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2014
More from UK News



Stephen Hawking: ‘There are no Universal Credits’

‘Universal Credits exist only in the mind of IDS and have no place in the rational universe as we know it.’

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Posted: Jan 29th, 2014
More from News In Brief



‘Risk of black hole’ if lack of attention causes Brian Cox’s head to implode

Scientists at CERN have issued a warning of a possible black hole when Brian Cox returns to the site to resume his ’day job’.

‘We’ve noticed a dramatic increase in the matters of Professor Cox’ explained project leader Lyn Evans. ‘His fans feed his ego at an astonishing rate. But if that suddenly stops because he’s doing real science in a lab instead of telly science in the moonlight, there’s a chance of him imploding like a dying star.’

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Posted: Jan 28th, 2012
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Large Hadron Collider finds car keys

also found the lyrics to 'things can only get better' although they were put straight in the binIt cost some £6.2 billion to build, but the Large Hadron Collider may have justified that enormous price tag after it finally located Professor Brian Cox’s lost car keys. The keys were lost by Cox in the 1990s while an undergraduate at the University of Manchester and his 1987 Nissan Micra has remained in an NCP car park ever since.

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2011
More from Science/Technology



Eurobillions ‘traced’ to small black hole near Brussels

TV boffin Professor Brian Cox thinks he’s tracked down the disappearing eurobillions, but too late to help the struggling economies of Greece, Italy and Spain.

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Posted: Oct 21st, 2011
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