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Posts Tagged ‘black hole’

‘Risk of black hole’ if lack of attention causes Brian Cox’s head to implode

Scientists at CERN have issued a warning of a possible black hole when Brian Cox returns to the site to resume his ’day job’.

‘We’ve noticed a dramatic increase in the matters of Professor Cox’ explained project leader Lyn Evans. ‘His fans feed his ego at an astonishing rate. But if that suddenly stops because he’s doing real science in a lab instead of telly science in the moonlight, there’s a chance of him imploding like a dying star.’

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Posted: Jan 28th, 2012
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Large Hadron Collider finds car keys

also found the lyrics to 'things can only get better' although they were put straight in the binIt cost some £6.2 billion to build, but the Large Hadron Collider may have justified that enormous price tag after it finally located Professor Brian Cox’s lost car keys. The keys were lost by Cox in the 1990s while an undergraduate at the University of Manchester and his 1987 Nissan Micra has remained in an NCP car park ever since.

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2011
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Eurobillions ‘traced’ to small black hole near Brussels

TV boffin Professor Brian Cox thinks he’s tracked down the disappearing eurobillions, but too late to help the struggling economies of Greece, Italy and Spain.

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Posted: Oct 21st, 2011
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Stephen Hawking to open world’s first man-made black hole in Surrey

Professor Stephen Hawking is to open the world’s first artificially created miniature black hole in the Surrey town of Haslemere, promising, ‘People will come from miles around to see it, whether they want to or not.’

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2010
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Hadron Collider faces closure after child traps Higgs Boson in jam jar

Henry Brown, a six year old primary school pupil from Devon is the toast of his school after trapping an elusive Higgs Boson particle in a jam jar during morning playtime today, earning him the Nobel prize for physics in the process.

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Posted: Mar 10th, 2010
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