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Posts Tagged ‘Blackberry’

Every fucking fucker now has an iPhone, researchers claim

Far from being the elite and expensive techno-fashion device that many have derided it for, the Apple iPhone has now reached such mass penetration of the market that every fucking fucker now seems to own one, or at least that’s what researchers from the Institute of Mobile Statistics are now claiming.

‘We noticed something not quite right with published sales figures’, Andy Dawson from the IMS explained at the press conference, ‘ according to our figures Apple’s share of the market was going down compared to Android, but that didn’t tally with our real-world experiences where it seemed almost every fucking fucker has an iPhone. So we commissioned a survey of usage habits.’

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2015
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Gulf states order Blackberry users to cover their phones in a tiny burqa

no more of that naughty spam eitherNew laws in Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates will require that every Blackberry user dress their phone a miniature burqa and face veil.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2014
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32% rely on smartphone to cross a road

totally reliable unless the battery runs out‘Smartphones even seem able to predict when cars will screech to a halt or other people will dive out of the way.’

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Posted: Sep 20th, 2011
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Starbucks launch world’s first ‘hands-free’ coffee

hands now free to close those win-win dealsOffice workers can get essential caffeine shots while sending ‘value-adding’ emails and closing win-win deals.

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Posted: May 26th, 2009
More from Business, Lifestyle

Apple iPhone can’t make or receive basic voice calls

‘Sure, it’s a slip up , but not a huge one’ admitted Steve Jobs.

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Posted: Jul 6th, 2007
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