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Posts Tagged ‘BMW’

BMW: Indicators and brakelights were only enabled for government tests

BMW today admitted that key safety features, such as a basic understanding of ‘hazard perception’ or ‘how soft cyclists are’, had been switched off in their cars. A spokesman admitted: ‘Enabling the speedometer would only cause a distraction’.

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Posted: Oct 5th, 2015
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Sports cars to display drivers’ penis size

Jeremy Clarkson downgrading to a 1.3 Renault.

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Posted: Nov 29th, 2014
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BMW driver has existential crisis in middle of risky overtaking manoeuvre

A man driving a 5-series BMW has had a sudden moment of existential despair whilst attempting to overtake a tractor and 2 cars on a single carriageway arterial route in the midlands.

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Posted: Jun 12th, 2014
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Misogynists inadvertently endorse ‘#twittersilence’ protest

Figures released from the networking service, show the vast majority of alcohol-fuelled women-haters have a tendency to sleep through the majority of any given Sunday.

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Posted: Aug 5th, 2013
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BMW relaxes ‘Dickhead Test’ for buyers

BMW has announced that it is seeking to expand its customer base beyond dickheads to include idiots, twats and pillocks as well. As a result, the company’s infamously stringent ‘Dickhead Test’ for prospective purchasers is to be considerably modified.

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2013
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