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Posts Tagged ‘Bob Geldof’

NRA pledges to give every African child a gun by 2018

The National Rifle Association has committed itself to alleviating ‘firepower poverty’ in the developing world. ‘There are children who’ll grow up without ever knowing the comfort of holding a warm firearm if we don’t take action now,’ said NRA spokesman Brent Maples.

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Posted: Dec 18th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Ebola promises to stop if Bob Geldof does

The highly contagious Ebola virus has issued a statement today announcing that it will stop causing pain and suffering throughout West Africa and the rest of the world if Sir Bob Geldof does the same.

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Posted: Nov 19th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Bob Geldof to extend Band Aid concept to Boomtown Rats singles

The Great British Geldof‘It’s feckin’ genius,’ said the singer/songwriter, speaking about the fourth successful release of ‘Don’t They Know it’s Christmas?’ in thirty years. ‘I can’t believe it, surely they’ve cracked on to the date by now?’ he asked before launching into his new project.

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Posted: Nov 17th, 2014
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Geldof hails G20 deal cancelling First World debt

Mondo's gone completely Bongo‘Do you have any idea how crippling these debts are to countries like the UK? We have to wipe out these debts NOW or civil servants are going to suffer.’

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Posted: Oct 18th, 2010
More from Politics



World economies collapse in absence of Bono’s wisdom

He's still one, but he's not the sameStock markets around the world have been sent crashing today following the news that Bono’s back surgery will keep him out of action for up to six weeks. ‘Everyone knows that Bono tells virtually every government in the world what to do’ explained the BBC’s Robert Peston. ‘If he’s out of action no-one will have a clue what they should be doing. The entire global economy could go to rack and ruin.’

Prime Minister David Cameron confirmed that Tuesday’s Queen’s speech was almost cancelled following the news. ‘Fortunately we’d sought Bono’s opinion on most of the proposed bills already, and Bob Geldof was available for a bit of last minute fine-tuning’.

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Posted: May 26th, 2010
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