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Bonfire night celebrations after discovery of Tory plans to destroy European Parliament

a night to celebrate, every year, for at least 400 yearsEuropeans took to the streets in celebration today after foiling a daring plot by the Conservative Party to ‘completely eradicate’ the European Parliament. On the night of November 5th a man was discovered in a cellar underneath the European Parliament drafting a carefully-worded letter to the Council of Ministers tentatively asking if it would possibly be all right if Westminster might have some of its powers back, as long as they didn’t mind. Soon afterwards effigies of David Cameron were being lit and fireworks set off in a collective outpouring of relief that the Tory conspiracy had come to light now, giving the 26 EU member states precious time to compose themselves and prepare a suitably diplomatic response.

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Posted: Nov 6th, 2009
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Bonfire Night at the Treasury ‘could go on for months’

Bonfire Night at the TreasuryThe bonfire set up at the UK treasury to celebrate Guy Fawkes night could burn for weeks if not months, insiders have revealed. The party, held in the basement, is a traditionally festive occasion with lots of Punch and Judy going on and massive fireworks when Gordon Brown gets told he can’t have another sparkler.

‘It’s wonderful isn’t it,’ said Chancellor Alistair Darling, basking in the warm glow of the fire, ‘we’ve been scooping up lots and lots of cash in preparation and were supposed to burn it all in one go. Then Mervyn turns up with another £25 billion in hundreds of wheelbarrows and now it’ll probably keep going till Christmas.’

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Posted: Nov 5th, 2009
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