NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Posts Tagged ‘Bono’

Irish Government sells Saint Patrick to reduce national debt

unbelievably, some Irish people still determined to get pissed tonightSt Patrick’s Day celebrations around the world are facing an uncertain future following today’s announcement by the Irish Government that it has sold the popular saint, and his associated festival day, to Germany in a desperate bid to reduce Ireland’s crippling national debt.

Saint Patrick, who has been Ireland’s national saint for over 1500 years and who is believed to be the only Irish cleric in history not to have been implicated in a child sex abuse scandal, was sold at an EU auction last night for the sum of €7.3 million, according to Taoiseach, Enda Kenny.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 16th, 2013
More from World News



U2 talk down ‘mediocre’ new album

Irish rockers U2 have been unusually candid in a round of interviews given on the eve of the release of their latest album, There’s Worse Ways To Kill 50 Minutes. Tired of thinking up increasingly extravagant hyperbole to make what is essentially the same as their last three albums seem like the Second Coming, the band have decided to be more realistic.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 25th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Bono launches charity for men who ‘can’t urinate while someone is next to them’

Pop philanthropist Bono has finally found a new cause to back, with no room for people to accuse him of hypocrisy. 

Read more >

Posted: Apr 13th, 2012
More from Celebrity



Real world to be rearranged in accordance with actors’ preferences

The real world today announced that it would rearrange itself in accordance with the beliefs and desires of the acting ‘profession’. ‘I finally realised that I’ve been mistaken,’ said Mr. World, aged 4.54 billion years.

Read more >

Posted: Feb 17th, 2012
More from News In Brief



New Year’s dishonours list to acknowledge ‘worst and most annoying’ of society

honours available hereAlthough not officially announced until the end of next month, details of this year’s Dishonours List have been leaked and include dozens of newly-minted twats, pricks, sods and tossers – individuals whose contributions to public life have been irritating, infuriating or downright damaging.

Read more >

Posted: Nov 23rd, 2010
More from UK News