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Posts Tagged ‘bonuses’

London banking district in grip of ‘smug’

A thick cloud of smug has descended on London today, particularly in the business sector, causing an outbreak of embarrassing coughs as another Roller or Porche is bought out of the small change from last month’s bonus.

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Posted: Apr 2nd, 2014
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Desperate bankers turn to payday loans to fund bonuses

As austerity measures continue to pinch, the Royal Bank of Scotland is concerned that shareholders may not approve a penurious 200% bonus for their frugal staff.

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2014
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RBS freezes Queen’s bank accounts at Coutts and Co. after Goodwin stripped of Knighthood

Her Majesty brought along an 'n' and defaced their logoThe bank informed Her Majesty that it had no option but to withdraw facilities, and that she could ‘stick her Knighthood right up her big fat Royal corgi’.

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Posted: Jan 31st, 2012
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Despots defend record round of bonuses in 2010

all being paid much more than David CameronMembers of the ‘Confederation of Dictators, Tyrants, Autocrats and Unelected Heads of State’ have been vigorously defending the latest round of bonuses that they have awarded themselves over the past twelve months – a year which has seen the public standing of brutal autocrats drop to its lowest level in over half a century.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2011
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Merchant Bank that threatened to leave UK ‘just went round corner and waited’

A bank that had insisted it would quit the country over reforms to the financial sector, was found this afternoon, safe and well outside Canon Street Tube Station.

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2010
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