Approval has been given for the Metropolitan Police to purchase three Death Rays for London. Stephen Greenhalgh, deputy mayor for policing and crime, authorised the force to buy the water cannons death rays from the Galactic Empire, saving more than £2.3 trillion.
Posted: Jun 11th, 2014
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IOC Vice-President John Coates has told delegates at an Olympic Forum in Sydney that officials in the 2016 host city Rio de Janeiro have claimed to know nothing about the games being held there in a little over 2 year’s time.
Posted: May 1st, 2014
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Boris Johnson has today announced plans to launch the all new ‘Bicycle-Water-Cannons-For-Hire’ scheme in London, believed to be the first of its kind in Europe. ‘These new Boris Cannons are a tremendous wheeze,’ said the London Mayor today. ‘I have already spent the day riding around on one, hosing down the hoi polloi and washing away beggars from shop doorways. It’s tremendous fun.’
Posted: Apr 2nd, 2014
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‘His story is as English as the Battle of Hastings, or Clause 28,’ said one source.
Posted: Mar 31st, 2014
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London Mayor, Boris Johnson, has sought to allay fears of a repeat of the violence that marred last year’s celebrations.
Posted: Mar 25th, 2014
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