In response to demands from a concerned public, the Cabinet is taking action to restrict hen party penises to a length of four feet and a girth of 14 inches. “When the trend started a few years ago”, [read...]
He has been labelled a stupid cnut, a self-obsessed cnut, a conniving cunt and an ambitious cnut. Now Conservative grandees are bracing themselves to decide by secret committee exactly what kind of cnut is attempting to hi-jack their party. [read...]
Theresa May’s recent announcement that Brexit negotiations will go to extra time, with the UK abiding by EU regulations until 2020, has raised the spectre that once again things may be settled on penalties. Government insiders have confirmed that, [read...]
Boris Johnson has professed himself baffled by calls for him to step down, saying he did so several days ago and can’t understand why Theresa May never got his letter. “I remember, I posted it in a letterbox on the high street as it stopped for a moment to rest from the heavy shopping it… [read...]
Parliament has agreed to debate the issue of whether ‘people who look like disheveled hayricks or untidy heaps of straw’ should be banned when attending constituency surgeries, schools, or universities, or when working for individual businesses or branches of government. [read...]
