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Posts Tagged ‘Boris Johnson’

Father discovers hallway closed for two months for Summer Playtime

After a council of 8 year olds voted to spend the summer playing at Martin’s house, Martin’s dad Pete has been informed his hallway will be out of action for the next two months.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2015
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EU diplomatic ‘shit list’ drawn up by the Tourism Board, say Kremlin

Grab a bargain now before prices fall!A Russian foreign ministry official has today contradicted reports that a list of ‘banned’ politicians was a result of EU sanctions against Russia. ‘Not at all. It is a simple attempt to support our gentrification process by excluding undesirables who are likely to detract from Russia’s reputation as a lovely place to visit and live.’

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Posted: May 31st, 2015
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Salmond to run for London Mayor

‘Of course, I’m hoping to become an MP – the expenses are better and with enough SNP MPs in Parliament we can force the canteen to deep fry Mars bars the Holyrood way,’ said Alex Salmond today, ‘but if that doesnae pan out, I’m going tae run for London Mayor.’

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2015
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Cameron to celebrate victory with Bullingdon-style trashing of UK

it's only moneyOne ‘almighty bash’ planned to last until 2015.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2015
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Boris Johnson launches new ‘Bicycle-Water-Cannons-For-Hire’ scheme

feel the power‘I have already spent the day hosing down the hoi polloi.’

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2015
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