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Posts Tagged ‘Boris Johnson’

‘Yes’ on Scottish independence ‘more likely’ as Boris Johnson heads for Parliament

Alex Salmond’s campaign for an independent Scotland was bolstered this week, as Mayor of London Boris Johnson announced he’ll be standing as MP in the 2015 general election, with his eyes set firmly on Number 10.

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2014
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Metropolitan Police given permission to buy Death Ray

Approval has been given for the Metropolitan Police to purchase three Death Rays for London. Stephen Greenhalgh, deputy mayor for policing and crime, authorised the force to buy the water cannons death rays from the Galactic Empire, saving more than £2.3 trillion.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2014
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Brazil denies all knowledge of hosting Olympic Games in 2016

IOC Vice-President John Coates has told delegates at an Olympic Forum in Sydney that officials in the 2016 host city Rio de Janeiro have claimed to know nothing about the games being held there in a little over 2 year’s time.

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Posted: May 1st, 2014
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Boris Johnson launches new ‘Bicycle-Water-Cannons-For-Hire’ scheme

feel the powerBoris Johnson has today announced plans to launch the all new ‘Bicycle-Water-Cannons-For-Hire’ scheme in London, believed to be the first of its kind in Europe. ‘These new Boris Cannons are a tremendous wheeze,’ said the London Mayor today. ‘I have already spent the day riding around on one, hosing down the hoi polloi and washing away beggars from shop doorways. It’s tremendous fun.’

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Posted: Apr 2nd, 2014
More from UK News

History of Michael Gove to be made compulsory in secondary schools

Michael Gove, circa 1950‘His story is as English as the Battle of Hastings, or Clause 28,’ said one source.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2014
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