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Posts Tagged ‘Boris Johnson’

London looking forward to ‘Boris-free Sundays’

‘It’s an inspired idea,’ said one resident, talking about the proposal that Boris Johnson would stay off the streets, off the airwaves, out of the way and would only talk complete shite in the privacy of his own home on Sundays.

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2014
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David Cameron ‘may not have been beaten up enough at school’, warn experts

'Eat fist, oik!'‘Cameron’s blend of smug self-assurance and empty rhetoric can only be a result of his being under-bullied as a child.’

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2014
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Aliens discovered on Earth, being educated at Eton

Maths professor Alan Daley has worked out the true cause of crop circles after his son started attending a minor public school in Kent and he began to delve into the complex maths of how public schools structure their fees.

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2014
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Labour Party to use ‘guest leaders’

Labour Party to follow the example of ‘Have I Got News For You’.

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2014
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Miliband asks for ten years to fix Manchester United

Time's upIn a bold statement of intent, the Labour Leader Ed Miliband has set out a ten-year plan to reverse the damage done by successive managers at Old Trafford. Whilst many of his critics suggested that a decent centre half and holding midfielder would be sufficient, a Labour spokesman insisted it would take a long-term economic plan to improve results, clone Ryan Giggs and change the word ‘United’ to ‘City’ on the stationery.

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Posted: Sep 23rd, 2014
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