The Foreign Secretary proclaimed his excitement at the prospect of being let loose amongst what he called ‘a bunch of boobyswaddled slagamuffins’ and was ‘jolly chizzawuzzled’ that it was a genuine island, thus limiting avenues of escapes for the eligible young ladies. [read...]
Following the birth of his sixth child, Jacob Rees-Mogg has been placed in a breeding programme to help repopulate Britain with a new generation of Conservatives. Tory insiders fear that Britain’s young voters are excitedly swinging to the left and decided that some social engineering will be needed if the government is to continue not… [read...]
Boris Johnson is now knocking on people’s doors throughout the UK in an attempt to win back the affection that has taken a massive dive in the past week.
Members of the public have reported a blonde man with an extremely posh accent turning up on their doorsteps murmuring ‘Love me, [read...]
Bullingdon Club president Cornelius Michaels has told fellow club members that a dare placed by some of its former members to destroy the UK within 12 months of wining the general election has been too close to call and has declared the contest an honourable draw. [read...]
David ‘Chavschool’ Davis has boasted that his first time away from home since his Uncle Norman used to look after him was ‘brilliant’ and, because of his top skills and banter, getting all the things he wanted was ‘easy peasy smelly cheesy’. [read...]